Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[betheoa]

Hi again Sandi,
Now i am at my PC, will write more (i need to write, i am filling very down).
So today she act out of rebellion, meet OM like date, even she know i can found out, she even send the kids, to her parents to make opportunity to meet him.
So i think this is braking point in me, i feel desperate, but will force my self to have this braking point (drop the rope).
So what i am doing from today on.
1. I am going to be much more bigness to her than ever, if she ask why i behave like this, i will answer "seriously?", i know what i know (from snooping), i will not confront her about what i know, it does not matter any more (she know what she is doing, and she know i am not agree), that is enough.
2. I will resist to temptation to confront OM, it will looks desperate, i did not see, what good will achieve if i am doing this.
3.I am going further to done our new flat to live there in the end of June, till then i need some advice, how to handle the every day living with her, i expect her interaction with the OM, to increase much more, because of my 180 and drop the rope. She will do it to punish me as well as to get her high from him, i think this will go to full blown EA and possible PA,so i am preparing my self to that. From my side begging or pleading or so on, i cut this many years ago (i did when she was only WAW), but cut this when she become WW.
4. I an sure, when i do 180 i behave aloof, and act as if i go with my life, she will behave very nice and pleasant, even more if i do not bug her about her where about or any other question about her, she will be even more glad ....?
5. Should i avoid contacts with her Parents, like going together with WW and the kids to drop the kids and take them to her parents?
6.Should i put down my weeding ring or/and change my FB status.(i feel this will be more to punish her, instead to do something about my detachment.
7. This week, will be without the kids, should i stay out of the house (that will give her opportunity), to go out with OM at the evening, aka. make opportunity to PA?
8. Should i start separate finance about the house, or i will keep handle the household and the kids, but not pay for her things.
9. Should i inform relative about the separation?


Please Sandi, or someone else, write to me, ask me to be responsible to YOU, about my behavior and detachment, i need to be responsible to someone else, because i feel too week, too nice guy, to be strong when she softened and i feel like slide back to be nice and pleasant as well.

So i need a plan (long term), and short term (to handle every day, before possibility to separate.

I feel i become WAH, i feel jealousy i feel all thing around.