Natash, I can't believe your wife did that with little girls at home waiting for her, not to mention her husband. That's crazy. I don't blame you for the setback.
I'm not sure I'm a position to offer any advice because I've been through this with my husband and I've made mistakes. Maybe my best advice is to assure you that this wild euphoric stay-out-all-night stage can't last forever. Even if your wife is out with OM eventually reality will hit when she and OM face problems in their relationship or when she starts to see how it's affecting her children. Maybe right now she's blinded by love for OM which is just so totally unfair to you and your kids, but if you want to potentially reconcile or keep your family together it seems you're doing the right things and by being patient you should eventually see your wife becoming more rational in weeks or months. I think the DB book says affairs last around six months.
That is so traumatizing for you to go through this. I feel so bad for you and your kids. I wish sometimes our society wasn't so open and it wouldn't be so easy for people to do these things. Sometimes I think Saudi Arabia has the right idea except the same stuff somehow happens there too...I guess humans have the same behavior everywhere and the same capacity for wrecklessness and selfishness regardless of nationality or geography.
I hope you hang in there and just remember this behavior won't last forever.
