Can I really do this?

[Dtrmned]

Sandi
Again, appreciate the reach out and support. Yes I am the talkative spouse. Type A. Entrepreneur, leader, etc. She is smart, intelligent but the health issues have debilitated her for a decade. Weird part is that she is so strong willed that she perseveres. She is a SAHM. I believe this is a huge part. The major medications over the last years, the "what have I done with my life", etc.

Lately, she's thrown in a few zingers from nowhere. She brought up an conversation that happened 4 weeks after we started dating ( yes 21 years ago) saying I was always doing things this way. Presently she only focuses on any and every negative part of our marriage and life. There may be an EA (bit may just be friends she is reaching outnto) but don't believe there is a PA at the moment due to her major current health issue. She has chronic debilitating issues, but the most current one that has gone on for 8 months is literally an intestinal/bowel problem. She is angry, exhausted and very unhappy. She doesn't leave our home except to run the kids, errands and Dr appts. She can't drive at night and alcohol makes her sick.

She is searching other spiritual avenues. She has always been that way. One of the things I love about her. But, she has not worked outside the home in 15 years. She went to school in 08 graduated and that is when she broke her neck and had her first spinal surgery.

A little more on us. As the medical issues came on, I picked up the slack and eventually took on all the financial responsibilities. Just happened as she was recovering from one to the next for a few years.

Not a perfect marriage, but we did have fun.

Financial crisis hit in 2015 causing a bankruptcy and foreclosure and then rebuilding. We have actually made it theough. I was very angry during th is time and was only trying to hold onto my family. I gripped, pushed, pulled way too tight. She curled in a corner and didn't want to be around anyone.

My belief on the MLC is just that she wants to run away, start over, and be happy. I'm the only constant for 21 years, so I MUST be the problem.

I also believe she is delusional on how the working world works and how her lifestyle will change drastically. Unless she jumps into another relationship that will help her financially, she will find it very difficult.

She is gorgeous, would not have any issue attracting anyone. Whether they would want to long term support someone with 2 kids, the health issues and no ability to work is another issue entirely.

She expects and believes that since we have been together so long that she can pick and choose what parts of marriage see wants. I should support her, but leave her alone, unless she needs something. Again, a little far fetched in the thinking and I believe this is coming from some of her friends she is speaking with.

Weird thing is we still sleep in the same bed, watch TV together and if she can we eat family dinners together (health issues are again the reason here.

Working on the GAL.
Working out everyday
Just took the kids away for a week, wife stayed home. Thought it was good for all of us and to give her a small taste of being without the kids . And me.

180s I've done are
Stopped snooping
Stopped asking questions

More later