no matter what he says, tell him you NEED TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT
b/c 1) you DO and
2) because it's not supposed to be "easy" for him to walk back in.
DB says "keep the road home paved & smooth" - makes sense.
But they mean Don't go telling everyone in your world (and his) about the A or throw it in his face, and do not try to publicly shame your spouse especially if you want a reconciliation.
DB's suggestion to "keep the road home paved" does NOT mean never examine errors or make amends -and demand the LBS have amnesia.
And sometimes, even OFTEN - these WAS act as if they want to reconcile - and maybe a part of them does...
But often they are really sending probes to see how easy the LBS will make it for them,
(so the WAS knows in effect, the LBS is after all, still waiting.)
It does NOT mean the WAS will do the work. They might, or maybe for 2 weeks...OR
They might just want to know you've thought out taking them back.
Be non committal, act as if you assumed it was over and that you resigned yourself to it, AND then - as Sandi's guidelines suggest
act as if YOU HAVE HAD AN AWAKENING and you are going to be fine without him...
then show your concerned VALID doubts in his (possible) promises, and show your worth - that you expect and deserve better and
that you are done if you don't get it.
I say this^^^ approach, b/c it is the most likely to get him back on track for real.
No, I don't think it's likely, I'm saying IF there's a chance, then this^^^ approach IMO, maximizes the odds.
Good luck Meg.
Truly
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
