Can I really do this?

[sandi2]

I join Cadet in welcoming you where nobody really wants to be. We are a supportive bunch. Although, weekends can show less activity.

I encourage you not to react to your W's words or actions. As you said, you can be emotional, and this type of situation doesn't help. Remaining calm is crucial at this time. She may often say things that she doesn't carry through.

If I had to guess, I'll bet you tend to be the more talkative spouse. Am I right? If so, put duct tape over your mouth, if necessary, to make your mouth be still. . You don't want to overkill with words.

I am definitely not perfect and more than that have done EVERYTHING Michelle said not to do.

Well, you should fit in perfectly with this board! Seriously, the best starting place is to stop doing every thing Michele says not to do. Tall order, but if you'll turn lose of your fear......you can do it.

You will discover we use several four letter words on the board,
like...."Fear"........"Time"......"Don't"........just to name a few.

the 180's are hard.

Are you referring to the 37 rules? That's what people tell me, that they are hard. What are some 180 degrees you have made recently?

HELP! I am lost, am doing my best to follow the book. I need to accept (within reason) whatever her decisions are and not let them bother me. I only want to find a path to get my family back.

Sometimes we have to accept things, but it doesn't mean it doesn't bother us. We just have to figure out how to go forward with life, in spite of it. Eventually, we learn to live with what was handed to us. We can make the most of what we have, or we can give up and decide to be miserable for the rest of our remaining time on earth.

Did she receive therapy for the abuse she suffered as a child? She may very well be experiencing a MLC, I don't know.

BTW, is your W taking a lot of medication for her health issues? Is she a SAHM?

Anyway, I hope you'll post often and tell us what you can. Be sure to read all the links on Cadet's page. There are a lot of people here who are in very similar situations.