Alcohol, it's an interesting question. During my time with the G I certainly drank more than usual. And after we split I got drunk a couple of times. I am a social drinker, if I am with a drinker then I drink more than I should and eat to much.
Since being on my own all that stopped.
The G like your ex is a binge drinker and I think the G is an alcoholic too. Compulsive gambler and womaniser, why not add alcohol to that?
Can you trust another in this uncertain world? You can if you trust yourself, from my experience when one has reached this point of healing then it's a good place to be. This space made me uncertain and questioning whilst questioning my safety with another, truly I was questioning myself. Can I trust me?
It's very low impulse control with binge drinkers. That's the difference I have control and the G doesn't. You will know if you do. If you have discovered extreme care (it's a big step if you have), you will trust you to leave a damaged R. And it will happen early because those boundaries are set. You will trust you to know.
I have researched this a great deal and come to accommodation on it. How can I feel safe, how will I ever know I won't go that way, that any other person including a future R won't lose control?
There are of course no guarantees.
Past behaviour is an indicator of future behaviour.
I haven't lost control, I have never binged in this way. I go home or fall asleep, sure I celebrate or commiserate. I have lost my woes in a bottle temporarily. That's the point temporarily, I am not a binge drinker, I can stop drinking at any time and I do. I can stop eating and I do. I don't smoke. I don't gamble. I don't take drugs, even prescription ones. I don't game or over watch TV. I have no obsessions and I have goals. There is nothing in my life that hooks me. I can trust myself.
It's possible you trust yourself and if you do then you can trust yourself to treat yourself with extreme care. In that case any R you are in then you can release if it's not for you. So another's addiction is their concern and it need not be in your life. Their addiction need not be.......
And of course that may hurt, to release another as a result of their addiction, to not try to control it or them because you can't.
The chances are with extreme care, if you love you more then you can release another sooner rather than later. Knowing that is possible will stop the triggers. The first time there is a serious binge or addiction then you can set boundaries and back track.
From where I sit then then this is a new stage of healing, from the body to the mind and then backward again, its a virtuous cycle. Enjoy.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
