The next morning she said she had changed her mind and wasn’t sure. Then after work she came home as a completely different person. She was saying she was all in on staying in the marriage and she was bubbly and smiling, and it was all very forced. It was a very scary thing, and I don’t really know how to describe it, but I feared for her life. W is a very thin woman, and when she’s stressed or anxious she stops eating. She would sit on my lap and smile at me while shaking uncontrollably. For two days I couldn’t get her to snap out of it, so I threatened to call somebody to get her help (I’m not sure what I meant, but like I said I feared for her safety). I tried to be silly with her, and she said she had “killed silly because she had given it to him.” At this point I told her I had to leave, and if her silly side was gone forever then I didn’t want to be with her anymore. A few hours later I came home to find her huddled in bed with our kids because she was afraid I was going to take them. She had at least snapped out of her funk (I have no other words to describe it). She was down to a very dangerous weight and her clothes were hanging off her, and she later admitted that she was probably trying to slowly kill herself. She has suffered from bouts of depression in the past, but never like that and never suicidal in any way.
This account is disturbing. Did you ever make a connection to what happened with OM and when she came home completely "changed"? Has she ever talked about it? It sounds as if she suffered something traumatic. Have you ever threatened to take the kids away from her?
Does any of her family suffer from any type mental illness? Please understand that I am asking out of concern for your W. It must have scared you to see her behavior......and the extreme weight loss.
I have several questions, if you don't mind answering them.
Are you seeing the same IC that your W is seeing?
Up until she had the first child, did she seem to enjoy sexual intercourse, or was it more the affection she really wanted? Did she try to avoid sex before D6 was born?
Waiting four months to approach your W about sex........is extremely thoughtful, to say the least.......especially considering you were only 26! Did I read that correctly?
Did you notice change (better or worse) in her behavior when she got pregnant with the second child?
Has she ever gone to the doctor for depression?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
