25years mlc 10 years pass I FILE #9 LAST LAP

[25yearsmlc]

Just returned from a family wedding in Puerto Rico.

It was planned long ago and the bride & groom (she's my niece, and yes, I have a LOT of nieces getting married) --- stuck it out for their destination wedding in PR, despite the hurricane last fall.

And it was beautiful. She's a stunner, the groom is handsome and YET they're both very kind, funny and smart. (See how I noted my stereotypes?)

So, how was it for me, going to a wedding, as a recently divorced woman?

Well, at this wedding, it was fine. I mean, so far so good.

A brief minute during the ceremony with the marriage music, hit me. I thought about how x was missing another landmark event and that we would no longer be holding hands at these.

We have so much shared history - seems down the tubes --is it?

Then at the reception, the dancing made me miss x for a bit. (X is a gifted dancer, maybe the best I've known). When you dance together for decades, you know how the other moves and you know how to respond to their moves.

THEN I thought, "look what x is missing!" He's losing out!

The reception was really fun, really happy, very very warm and I danced my rear end off. I had a ball there, and I went exploring in PR by myself AND with siblings and nieces. Went on tours, and every local was friendly and over the top hospitable. Truly. They made up for the remnants of the hurricane damage.

The more I found myself in a stimulating new environment, the fewer reminders of x, AND the happier I became.

Hence the whole GAL thing. IT WORKS.

GAL - New people, new places, new activities

= LESS RUMINATIONS & LESS REGRET.

Next

My older kids drove 4 hours north to where x left tons of stuff in our storage unit (I had taken 1/3 of our things b/c I naively thought x would be grateful I was so above reproach).

They did not "clear it out" so much as they took what was important to THEM (& had asked me what my priorities were and I only had 3)

and we chose to leave the rest. X stopped paying for it a year ago, and my s31 has been covering that this whole time. Thankfully it's in X's name.

Yes, there were things we lost, things I miss and feel sad about. It's a loss.

But my own kids said they needed to "let go" and "get some closure" of their own.

I marvel at their honesty and thoughtful behaviors. I was surprised by their sensitivity. And frankness.

I'm sad about some of what they left behind but for me to go see it, ship it and find a place for it here, makes no sense now.

Hopefully, others will enjoy it now...

if my kids can let go of some childhood and or meaningful things that really matter to them, so can I.

I'm so lucky to have them in my life. Feeling grateful

(((( ))))