Can I really do this?

[Dtrmned]

Read the Divorce Remedy. LOVED it! Am applying the GAL and doing my best to just let things lay right now. A little background. We've been together 21 years this year, married for 17 1/2. 2 kids 14 and 11. I am presently on Spring Break with just my kids as my wife declined to come due to both health issues and our relationship issues. It's been a rough couple of years. She has had chronic health issues for a decade that have debilitated her life and a VERY chronic issue that has affected her for the last 7 months. She is NOT the person she once was. She IS an amazing and can be loving person. Our real rough couple of years came with a business failure (no fault of ours, just happened) causing bankruptcy, foreclosure, etc. I fought hard during that time to just keep my family together. I held on too tight, pushed, pressured (everything Michelle says NOT to do), and my wife was in a different place. Her reaction to our catastrophe was to curl up in a ball and shut out the world (including me). So when I pushed, she just pulled farther away. I believe financially we are on the mend, things are better, career is ok, and we have worked with several counselors, books, CD's, etc. throughout our marriage as we always knew it was a journey and not just perfection all the time. Well, she finally "gave up" and said she is done. She filed for divorce in February of this year. We spoke, it was traumatic, and she agreed to withdraw the petition at that time. She is not intent on working on our marriage, just agreed it was the wrong time. We are still living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, watching tv together, but no intimacy or conversations other than the kids and trivial stuff (oh, and money of course). I am an emotional person when it comes to my family and my wife. We have been through so much together I truly cannot imagine us parting ways. Her father sexually, physically and emotionally abused her as a child, then left their family. She kind of went off the rails and we met when she was an adult. FLEW on air for the first 6-7 years. Kids, surgeries and then the big financial issue along with the regular problems of marriage (NOT that kids are a problem, they are amazing!, but they do change a relationship.

I don't think there is another person involved other than people she has found on health boards that are now her "friends". I believe they are feeding her some bad information about what life will be like without me. I wish I could tell you I am a bad person and she should run, but I am just not. I'm a good father, a good provider and I do my best to be a good husband. I am definitely not perfect and more than that have done EVERYTHING Michelle said not to do.
My wife is going through(I believe) a combination of WAW and an MLC. I think if I can wait it out, it may work out. Outside of her jumping into a new relationship, there is no assets for us to split, no way for her to support herself, and I believe VERY restricted on being able to move the kids around over the next couple of years. It is not all about money, but the quality of life will drastically change for her (and hence my children for part of the time).

HELP! I am lost, am doing my best to follow the book. I need to accept (within reason) whatever her decisions are and not let them bother me. I only want to find a path to get my family back.

GREAT week with my kids, and don't know how my wife is going to react. I am hopeful that she has taken the time to reflect how this will really be in the future, that outside of despising me at the moment, that she misses me just a little. Worried about going home tomorrow and how it will be. Trying to prepare myself for the worst. I know that either way, the Big D or reconciliation will be a long road.

the 180's are hard.

Any advice, help or 2.4's are welcome.

M51
W44
D14
S11