Things are escalating quickly. The wife came home last night (after the convo above) and announced that she'd found a room to rent and would likely be moving out this weekend.
That previous convo was FULL of pressure from you. You've got to remove all pressure from her. No R talk AT ALL. No talking about working on things, or being there for her, or anything of the sort. SHE DOESN'T WANT THAT. She might in the future, but not now, not at all. And she keeps telling you that, yet you keep pushing and pressuring. Things are escalating quickly because of YOU! You have got to let go of her. Leave her alone and work on you.
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I initially handled it pretty well (detached acceptance) but she keep pressing for me to talk more. It predictably became a full on R-talk, that I engaged in logically. And we know how well that works....
Would love to hear details. I suspect YOU made it a full-on R talk when you should have been quiet, listened and validated.
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It looks like this is happening. I'm feeling pretty shattered right now, only got around 3 hours of sleep and can barely function.
I'm sorry, I know it's difficult. But in most (maybe all) cases growth on both sides doesn't START until AFTER separation. Try to think of it as a step forward for both of you, and maybe for your M too.
