I need some guidance

[Ste7e]

First Post might as well jump in the water.
I have read DR and started DB and been reading threads on here.
I'm a 40 M she is 34 F
Been together 7 years married for 2.
I had a severe depression and MLC for the last 3 years Job burnout and then quitting job being unemployed. Before I quit Job found out Step father had Cancer (he died over last summer) and very close Aunt had cancer and she also died last summer. I feel that my being depressed is understandable given circumstances.

Wife and I started arguing for the first time really ever in our relationship (had been really good up til then spend 24/7 together for the 7 years). My depression became total generalized Anxiety disorder in Sept. Wife came at me first time with dissatisfaction in marriage and with me beginning of Nov. said I was Fat and that she wasn't attracted to me, this obviously destroyed my already broken self confidence. We kept arguing until she went on trip to Mexico in beginning Feb while she was there my step brother died in an auto accident ugh.
When she came back we started reading "getting the love you want" together and were arguing with each other as we tried to use communication techniques from the book on the way to and back from the funeral. t
Two days later she said she couldn't do this anymore and wanted out she then stayed at friends houses and got an apartment immediately and moved out and took literally everything BUT she left her furniture and her pets as the apartment wouldn't allow them (year lease). In her moving out she said she just needed some time and that in 3 months she would be open to doing some counseling. We didn't talk for a month on her direction and then one of the pets got sick and so she has been back in our house for the past week.
After the second day of being here she said although she had enjoyed the time with me that she had no interest in ever doing counseling and she wanted a divorce but wanted to remain friends. I asked if she was seeing some one else she said no that is was an ILYBNILWY anymore situation and that she had no interest in being in any relationship with anyone and that she feels she will probably never be in another relationship ever again. That she should never have gotten married in the first place that she thought getting married and having a house would satisfy her. But now that she had found herself and the space time to write and think clearly etc. (she has also been totally overwhelmed by work and work burnout...she is also acting like a MLC). SHe is still here at the house sleeping on the air mattress and helping to take care of the very sick pet. I have also over heard two of her work calls while she has been here talking (almost bragging about how she is getting divorced) and that things were ok between us while she is here but that its the final stretch etc.
In the month she was gone I finally went to see a shrink (and do 12 step group) which is helping I am no longer depressed or anxious thank god. I started working out and eating right and I lost 20lbs. I have not been arguing with her at all. However, upon having the bomb dropped I begged and pleaded saying that I love her and we are a good couple etc. I finally said yesterday that after the inital date of the 3 months I would talk to her about getting a divorce. Obviously I do not want this and think she is being extremely rash. I am also doing and fixing all the things she said was wrong...and more so learning to do them for myself not just to get her back. But this really feels hopeless she is very stubborn and is prone to stick to her decisions good or bad. I do still love her and think that this is a MLC for her. Oh she also started seeing a shrink. I also started wearing my wedding ring when she moved out ( I had never worn it before) so my first question is should I still wear it during this time or is it a passive aggressive move? I am trying to remain consistent in what I do. I feel that going dark is hard for me because it is more of the same when I was depressed but when I interact with her she is real cold and irritated by literally everything I do. I have remained as positive as possible and been working on detachment techniques. Also I have started a journal of which actions work and which don't...so far eye contact has been positive as I never use eye contact when talking with people. I guess I am at the LRT and need some clear guidance as to what to do. Please ask me for any clarification as to help me. I love my wife still I have been loyal and honest since day one I feel blindsided but own my accountability and can see how this happened.