Hi MRay, welcome to the forums! Sounds like this is more about your W than anything else (as it is in so many cases around here). The best thing you can do is pull back and give her time and space to sort things out. At least she's going to counseling, that's good! Do not expect a quick turnaround, she's on a long journey. Recon is a good possibility, but you're looking at many long months or even a year or more down the road. It takes a lot of patience.
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I’ve been acting as if things are normal. Currently, W is unable to be herself around me, it is painfully obvious. There is no intimacy of any kind. She can handle being around me for a while, but gets weird after a couple hours. She says she feels like she’s leading me on.
Yup, very common. If she isn't yet, expect her to soon start clinging to the edge of the bed like you've got some nasty disease she doesn't want. She may even hover over the edge like magic, just to get a few more inches away from you. It's tough giving a WAS space when you're under the same roof but you have to. Try and get out of the house more. Encourage her to do the same. You've got to spend as little time together as possible. Interact with her as little as possible. Don't be cold or mean or anything, just give her space.
