Finding Solutions, Not Distractions..

[Coconut]

Well maybe it's time to step outside your white privilege a little bit and examine why those things might bother a person of color? How would YOU feel if you lived in a society where all the authority figures were black, where you were followed by security in stores just because of the white color of your skin, where you had to work twice as hard to prove yourself at work or school because it was assumed you only got in because of "affirmative action" and weren't truly competent?

The problem with the things you stated is that there is no way to know if it's actually true, they are assumptions that are made by thinking racism in the first place. I have no doubt that racism exists, and that there are too many who have been the victim of it, directly, with no question of what it was. But when I hear someone say they got pulled over because of the color of my skin, it makes me wonder if they think I've never been pulled over because of the color of my skin.

I have been followed many times in stores, but I didn't assume it's because I was a white person in a black neighborhood, but who knows, maybe that was the reason. I have considered many people I have worked with in the past to be incompetent, but I base those beliefs on their work product, not by the color of their skin. The best mentor I've ever had in my career was black, she was one of the smartest, most loyal, and confident person I've ever had the pleasure of working for.

For what it’s worth, I grew up in a predominately black neighborhood, until we moved when I went to high school, I went to schools that were 97% black, 2% Spanish and 1% white. Where I work now, there are 30 people in my division, 3 of us are white. I have never gotten or expected anything because of my race. I believe that racism cannot be overcome until people stop using it as a crutch. I have been the victim of “reverse” racism often in my life, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been referred to as cracker, or approached aggressively because they didn't want "the white guy" there.

If I live a life of white privilege, I shore as shootin have never reaped the benefits. I have worked hard my entire life, I have done everything that your “supposed to do” to prevent myself getting into situations that often cause people to go destitute, and I’ve never hoped for or expected something that I didn’t know I deserved.

No dinners with people you've newly met. Ok to meet for drinks. If things go well, you can have appetizers, but always keep it short. You're interviewing. Avoids awkward pauses and situations.

Yes, I agree.. I did dinner with her for two reasons, first, I had to drive an hour to meet her. I still might not have done dinner if it wasn’t for the fact that I had just spend a few hours with her a few days before, so I wasn’t worried about it being awkward, and it wasn’t.