That REALLY escalated fast. (Hoosjim's 14th)

[hoosjim]

What I see as an outsider is that you get lots of great advice from several people here and yet you spin paragraphs to rationalize how their advice doesn't exactly apply to you.

You seem to pick and glen what advice you like but ignore the parts you don't want to deal with... I've seen that a lot lately but I will let the others weigh in on that observation as well. Perhaps I'm not seeing things correctly.

"Spin" is a loaded word these days, with strong negative connotations. Be careful how you use it.

Do i pick and choose re: advice? Absolutely. Guilty as charged. You'd go crazy on here, and i used to, trying to reconcile all the varying views on these boards. And even when advice and perspective is from the same provider... not everything is going to be applicable to every person. And not everything is going to be appropriate.

I am fond of saying that there is no paradigm formulated by man that is so meritorious that it is not subject to exceptions.

I absolutely pick and xhoose and will continue to do so based on my judgment and my own particular sitch.

Spying on her with listening bug devices places you no better than she for having an A. You don't have her agreement to take part in this... this is not her being 100% transparent. This you treating her as a prisoner with no rights.

Opinions vary widely on this. Numerous very respected posters on here, as well as a whooooole lot of counselors (including my own) believe that it's okay in the case of infidelity to "data collect" or "research" or "Gather intel" or whatever, as long as it doesn't become obsessive. If you want to be nasty and try to get a rise out of people and say "snooping" i suppose you can do that to, but it doesn't change the fact of the act or the dynamics that inspired it. If you want to try to make the case that i've been obsessive about it here or any time in the recent past, i'd be glad to entertain your argument, but i don't think its a winning one.

Whichever, look... The amount of angst on these threads, including mine, amongst posters over "What she's thinking" or "Where her mind is" or "you just cant know what her intentions are" is off the charts sometimes. So... BOOM... here ya go: Here's what she's thinking. You're welcome.

As to the rest, all very, very true. She has to elect/agree to be tranparent (though understand here that, as a recovering WW, at which time if i ever do "let her back in" or give her another shot, she will have to agree to transparency steps chosen by ME... and this is absolutely consistent with what Sandi2 and Artista and the other
WW gurus preach.