Hey East, any idea when a permanent parenting plan will be going in place? Have you talked to your L about taking out any "phone calls", pick up whenever wanted, etc.. basically break down the custody to permanently set dates and times so that you can start to parallel parent rather than the mess she is making this co-parenting arrangement?
Either way, I hope she finds something in her life that will end her misery (doesn't sound like she's finding much happiness with OM) and get her to focus on her life instead of yours.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
One day I was at work mulling over what to do about a class he was having trouble in and generally just having that same "life is a mess" feeling as you, and my coworker hung up the phone and told me a consultant who is a good friend of ours just found out his young son needs to have radical surgery performed.
One of our department managers passed away over the weekend. I found that our at lunch. One of our project managers flew back to India this weekend because his pregnant wife just miscarried very late term. Stillborn child. Found that out after lunch. That's heartbreaking, and yeah, drives home that I need to man the hell up here and not feel sorry for myself, because others have it a LOT worse.
Quote:
Maybe you just need some more time, it really took me a couple of years to get used to my "new normal". Congrats on keeping the weight off, that's awesome!
I keep telling myself that. I saw a meme on Facebook today that said something like "I keep telling myself that after I get through this week, it'll be smooth sailing, but then BAM" and I identify with that. I can't believe this keeps getting WORSE. If you told me a year ago this is where thing would be I'd have laughed. I think I need to keep repeating "others have it worse" to myself.
Quote:
Hey East, any idea when a permanent parenting plan will be going in place?
None. Depositions were scheduled for next Tuesday but got pushed back due to scheduling conflicts.
Quote:
Have you talked to your L about taking out any "phone calls", pick up whenever wanted, etc.. basically break down the custody to permanently set dates and times so that you can start to parallel parent rather than the mess she is making this co-parenting arrangement?
Still too soon, I think. Our last meeting was about deposition prep. As near as I can tell, there's no point in talking with L about this until we're near trial or settlement. Her plate is full, and I'll just have to have the conversation again at the right time.
Quote:
Either way, I hope she finds something in her life that will end her misery (doesn't sound like she's finding much happiness with OM) and get her to focus on her life instead of yours.
You're not the first person to tell me that. My C has told me that XW HATES me because in her mind this is all my fault, and I'm the reason that XW doesn't see D more, and not her own choices. In that light, I don't know what OM has to do with anything. I do hope she gets bored with me soon, but as long as she has an issue as important as D to hate me about, that seems unlikely.
My L wrote a nastygram to XW's L saying "return D per the interim plan or I'll file criminal contempt." XW told me she's not going to.
This is the last time I will EVER let myself think of today as anything other than March 29th.
'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell" I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin' I hope your soul is changin', changin' I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin'
This is the last time I will EVER let myself think of today as anything other than March 29th.
'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell" I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin' I hope your soul is changin', changin' I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin'
This is the last time I will EVER let myself think of today as anything other than March 29th.
'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I'll just say this is "I wish you farewell" I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin' I hope your soul is changin', changin' I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin'
12/23 will never be the same for me. I unfortunately have a very good, vivid memory. It is a curse. And every 12/23 I will remember BD for the rest of my life no matter what happens (if we stay together or split up).
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
12/23 will never be the same for me. I unfortunately have a very good, vivid memory. It is a curse. And every 12/23 I will remember BD for the rest of my life no matter what happens (if we stay together or split up).
You might be surprised what a little time may do.. My last anniversary date went by without me realizing the day until it was almost over (although when I see the date written out I do recognize what it was, but don't feel any nostalgia over it). As I write this, I realize that I don't even remember BD date (although I do remember the months in which I first recognized something wrong and the month BD happened). My point is, if you allow yourself to forget the significance of those "dates", you may be able to remove them from the important dates in your history.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Absolutely nothing other than the desire to feel in control of my life and find peace with myself.
Good game plan
Originally Posted By: Steve85
12/23 will never be the same for me. I unfortunately have a very good, vivid memory. It is a curse. And every 12/23 I will remember BD for the rest of my life no matter what happens (if we stay together or split up).
Well Cnut beat me to it, but never say never My BD was on my birthday. Sure it was a nasty memory the first couple of years, but after that I didn't even give it a second thought. Also I NEVER EVER forgot our anniversary when I was married, but last year would have been our 25th anniversary and I completely forgot about it. Why? Because frankly that date doesn't mean a thing to me anymore.
