Hoping this can be saved, but having doubts

[reframe]

so, just had this conversation online. Wife mentioned that she wasn't sure she'd be able to take our two dogs part time when she moved out. I tried me best to be supportive, validate and not pursue, but I'm feeling pretty crushed right now.

------
Wife:
I'm still trying to figure out if I'll even be able to take them part time right now
It'll depend on where I'm living

I didn't know you'd be willing to consider not having the dogs a significant portion fo the time
I don't feel like I have much choice.
The place I looked at yesterday is fine with me having them half the time, but my skin was burning
so something has to give
well, it takes awhile to a find a place.


Me:
I assumed you'd hold out for an animal friendly place that didn't make you sick

Wife:
I'd love to, but that can be hard to find and it's not really fair.

Me:
not sure I follow, but it's up to you, of course.

Wife:
I want to move on with my life, and let you move on with yours. That includes dating, even if just for fun. And it feels wrong doing that when living in the spare bedroom.

Me:
yes, that is a no go. I assumed that was a given

Wife:
Yes, which is my point

Me:
but I also didn't think you were in a hurry to date


Wife:
I wouldn't call it a hurry. But the last few months have also been incredibly lonely, for both of us

Me:
yes, and my thinking was that it was a chance to improve myself. Dating to feel better is just kicking the can down the road


Wife:
Okay. I didn't say to feel better.
and I've been improving myself for a long time.

Me:
I know you have, and I'm proud of you. This is all somewhat academic, since it's totally up to you.

I had assumed the logical thing to do was to get your financial life in order, and find a suitable place, for you and the furry friends. That takes some time. I didn't find the current situation untenable, but I'm still willing to work toward things.

I didn't think being in a position for either of us to date was a matter of any urgency,


Wife:
I'm not having this conversation. I am not willing to work on things, I've made that very clear. I worked on things for years. But I'm not getting into some angry fight with you about what happened, or didn't and what could or couldn't happen.
I'll keep looking and I'll be out of your way as soon as I can be.

Me:
I told you there is no rush

Wife:
that's because you're still hoping I change my mind
it's also because I support you trying to be on your own and make it on your own

Me:
yes, I also think there are things to our relationship that are worth saving, but I also think I've made it pretty clear that it would need to be something you choose

Wife:
and I truly hope we can be friends and that we'll be able to climb and hang out, and be social together.

OK
and I don't have anything to say that I haven't said before.
This is not what I want, but I won't stand in your way if it's what you need to do.

If you are lonely I am happy to talk.

Wife:
Yes, noted.
But that's not what I mean.