That escalated quickly; WW's A RESUMES(hoosjim#13)

[hoosjim]

Here's how it is:

I mentioned this earlier but it bears repeating. I am great. Scratch that. I am better than great. Maybe, aside from my MR issues, better than I have ever been. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and, most importantly, spiritually-- which underpins and feeds all of the others.

Everyone on here offers thoughtful advice, from their own hearts, and a lot of that advice, consist with what MWD teaches and the DB-ing philosophy espouses focuses on taking care of oneself. That so many on here truly care about the members of this forum is clear from the way they make sure to always emphasize this aspect-- take care of yourself.

Here's the thing: D-B-ing does not have a monopoly on the GAL and self-respect market, and this affects what I offer up and what I seek here. While trust is important to me, I do not trust easily. It's the Yin/Yang of the Wolf. I am also analytical. As a result, I go many places to "Do Me" and to "Get a life" and for support in that regard. Here, however... is the only place that offers D-B-ing. Here, is the only place that offers the unique insights into WW's that is somewhat esoteric even in D-B-ing circles... and here I think particularly of sandi2 and artista. So this is where I come for that. In fact, I come here pretty much looking only for that, so comfortable am I with where and who I am, what I am doing, and where I am going as an individual, as a Dad... and as a companion/lover to whomever that turns out to be. When I come here, I am looking for tips and ideas and insights primarily in the vein of how to save my marriage... to the extent that that is possible.

And yes, I know that "being the best me" is a critical component of that. But you know what? I have done things in the past year, since all of this started, that I never would have thought prior to that I would ever do again. I have run up and down a basketball court for two hours with friends, new and old. I have a physique that I would have killed for in my thirties... maybe even in my late twenties, and in some ways better than ever (I always skipped "leg day" as a youngster... never more ). I have tried so many new things (hello tattoos), moved outside my comfort zone (going alone to new places and meeting new friends), been approached by beautiful women half my age... and resisted temptation like never before, lol. And last of all, I have a renewed and revitalized faith that underpins most of what I do (and yes, Lord, I understand there is ever room for improvement, but I am trying. )

So, even with what has gone down this week, I am better, stronger, and happier than just about ever. Do you think the me from a year ago would have told his W to get out of the house and then completely cut contact? Hell no! Would the me of last year have been out with friends two nights later, enjoying their company and laughing? (and making plans to do so again tonight?) Again, no.

But you folks mostly don't see this. All you see of me is the forays I make onto these forums in search of insight into my WW, or into saving my marriage in general. Is that all I am about. Abso-effing-lutely not. But it is mostly why I am here. I see this site literally as "Divorce Busting", that is, preventing my divorce and saving my marriage. It is primarily and recently pretty much exclusively why I am here... with a strong nod and a big "thank you" to the community and to MWD for starting me down the path of "taking care of me."

So I can understand the repeated posts in that regard and, now, as then, know that I appreciate them. For those of you new to my thread, please know that I am "there" already, and for those veterans on my thread, please rest assured that I am not slipping WRT "myself", and that I am good. And your thoughts, support, and prayers, are always appreciated.

To be continued...