I truly believe she hasnt hit rock bottom, because she knows you are still wanting to work on the relationship deep down. she is trying to manipulate you and the situation. To be honest from everything you wrote, you still want to work on the relationship deep down, so you have not completely detached. Remember actions speak louder than words and it is way to soon for her to hit rock bottom. You are saying the right things to her and showing some action, but it is still way to soon to see any truthful responses from her.
She needs to realize you are done with her and she needs to feel that loss. This isnt going to happen in a couple of weeks or months. You need to fully detach from her and move on, then once she sees this she might hit rock bottom, and it will take probably months of seeing for her to realize she has truly lost you.
Alot of WW BD because they are tired of not seeing any changes in their H and decide to either leave or have an affair. Whats the first thing LBS do, we cry, weep, beg that we will change. After a few weeks of change and even months most go back to the wife and say see i have changed and state what they have done to change. What do most of the spouses say... wow you done this for 2 weeks or few months, this isnt good enough you will regress to your old ways, and i need to see a consistent pattern of change. she is saying telling you a lot right now, and you cant even think about MR... you need to find yourself, and truly let go of her... maybe she will find her way back, but you need to have the thought that she will not do what it takes to get you back, because so far she hasn't.
This question is for sandi and maybe it will shed some light on jim's case... but sandi in your honest opinion, if you didnt find this board, where do you think you and your marriage would be right now?
I truly believe, and you probably dont want to hear this, but for MR to work out between you two she needs to lose you, and find of life without you. once she has overcomes her fears of being alone, and finding her inner happiness only then will she truly know if she wants a marriage with you and put in the effort you require.
I think this is what scares you, because you have no control over this and you just need to let it play out. I believe this scares you because you havent truly detached. once you have truly detached you dont care if she comes back or not, because you realize you will be happy with or without her. Do not confuse this with giving up, this is just saying you dont need her. When you get to this point, you would like the MR to work out, but you dont need it too.
Sorry if this is all over the spectrum, just multitasking...
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
