Answering the Call

[HaWho]

Ohh, in my next life may my MLCer be a vanisher. This is so much a part of my daily life I cannot even imagine not having an MLCer.

My ex is like a swarm of killer bees. Soooo much anger. He is a constant contact sort of fella. And he creates situations where he can fight with me. I swear this is something to witness. He continues to rage text me weekly. I ignore it all but it is something to behold.

Thanks Job, Gordie, Mleigh, Bttrfly, Sotto, Heather and Juju. Job - he is so over the top.

Gordie - we are using lawyers. My ex is way too irrational to mediate with. Let me remind you that he wanted me to just run everything by him without conferring with anyone. From the moment I obtained my own lawyer he has been trying to make my life as hard as possible.

Heather, it is very hard to imagine a time where he will regret this all. He really is a man on a mission. Once this divorce is settled he's going to have to find a new place to direct all his anger. It's also hard to imagine me caring that he regrets this. He is a walking landmine and that's how I have come to think of him. I just want to be free of him.

In other news my sil reached out to say she was sorry to hear the news. I told her I was surprised not to hear from anyone else on ex's side after 18 years. She said they were all afraid of ex's reaction to reaching out. She said she just didn't care; she was just doing the right thing.

A few weeks later MIL texted to say she was heartbroken at the news. I am sure SIL's reach-out guilted her. I told her it was ok as ex has been unwell a long while and for me there is some relief as he's been angry and difficult for years now. Radio silence from her. Meanwhile my family has not reached out to him at all. They have known he has been off for years and they are relieved this is coming to an end.

I am reconnecting with some old friends I lost touch with. I thought we lost touch due to getting busy. But this friend told me that she and her h quietly bowed out as ex was "unlikeable." Ouch. He is quite prickly these days.

He still tries to exert tons of control in all the silliest ways. Here's an example. S13 has his best friends' party this weekend. They are twins. H committed that he would take s to the party and these friends ran the date by my son to make sure he can make it. Now h says s can't miss his 6th grade basketball game as it would be "irresponsible." It's a silly 6th grade game. And these are his lifelong best friends. But I am good friends with the twins' mom and I swear he is sticking it to me. Awful what he is teaching our son.

And the manipulation is awful! S was moved up to a new, better team and this would be the first game. But this event was planned a month ago. S texted me saying "let's say you got a promotion and the next day you told your boss you have a birthday party. What would your boss think of you?"

Obviously this is not coming from a 6th grader. It is so sad that he put son up to writing that. This is the sort of thing that is par for the course for him. He will kill s13's love for basketball with this sort of stuff.

I will get through this. This is not the person I knew 20 years ago. I look forward to the day where we are unbound.