She will never be that way until she "fixes" herself. All of what you describe involves some level of either a) frank and unafraid introspection and/or b) openness with others. If nothing else, in these past four days, she has been absolutely right about that: She has barriers and walls all built up inside her. Some against others and the outside, some against herself. That, IMO, is going to take a lot of "fixing" before she is relationship ready, however much she might "want" otherwise.
this is very true... and i had to do the same... when i had my meltdown in NC, and when i finally just let it all go, i talked with my niece and her husband about ALL of my indiscretions... all of my bad behavior... i didn't leave any of it out... there is so much more than what i have shared here... i will try to cover all of it someday... anyway, at some point, H called my niece's husband... my niece's husband told my H that i had told them everything... that i opened up and shared all of my garbage... H started asking, "did she tell you about this?" "did she tell you about that?" "did she tell you she did this?" "what about this one? did she tell you about that?" my niece's husband answered yes to all of it because i did share everything... my H was very surprised... he even told niece's husband that he couldn't believe that i actually opened up to them and revealed everything... because i was all about appearances... talking with them was one of the first steps toward authenticity... first was the email i sent to H saying i was done trying to hold everything together... next was sharing with niece and her nephew... H was not talking with me at this time...
