That escalated quickly; WW's A RESUMES(hoosjim#13)

[hoosjim]

I have stated that I did not hit rock bottom... To be clear, reality hit me. It did not take that much reality to knock some sense into me (thank God), but for some WW's......it takes a lot more. I experienced loss, but not near as much as some WW's.

So, Sandi, how did it feel to you? And how did you respond? Were you morose? Depressed? Energized? Defeated? I seem to recall you didn't start "working on" the MR right away? Or did you, after a fashion. I remember you saying it was like two years before OM was completely out of your head, but that NOT going to counseling in your case probably prolonged that. Were you nonetheless "doing work" during that time and, if so, what? And how did that "look" to your H?

You had a somewhat shorter and less profound track record of infidelity, IIRC, than my W, yes?

I mean... arrrgh! I just have so much frustration and anger towards her. Seems like she wants to just jump right back into working on things at the point we were at (my impression, at least). EVEN IF she were serious and EVEN IF she were trustworthy, it is so childish to even think that that is possible. Every aspect of a relationship requires some degree of surrender and vulnerability-- even just going out and having fun with each other on a casual date. You need to be able to let your guard down to truly enjoy the other person's company. And you cant let your guard down with someone who has (repeatedly) stabbed you in the back every time you've shown it to them.