Hi Coconut, I'm pleased to read you have a date - good for you and I hope you had a nice time. I was interested in your comment about exclusivity. I'm dating too and we had that conversation recently.

I realised that the most important thing for me was to be honest about where I am at and what I'm looking for. For me, I do want to date exclusively - but I'm not really working towards potential marriage or cojoining of finances. I think those things are off the agenda for me. But I also recognise that I may still be somewhat reactive in these areas?

Anyway, the guy I'm seeing liked my directness and we had a conversation about where he was at and why - and...it all felt good.

I think the problems come when we don't feel able to say where we are at - so I would encourage you to do this. If you are at a stage where you just want to casually see a few woman, I think it's okay to do this - and those women know where they are at. They may self-select out of course. So I guess that's the risk.

I know for me that I'm an exclusive dater and if my date didn't want that, I'd rather know...

Hope this helps any ways - and I hope you have a good time on Friday smile


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus