Hi Cil, I too think it was brave to have that talk with your XH. The fact is, we aren't born knowing how to have good relationships with a spouse. And we learn (or don't) from our life experience. Looking back I can see ways in which I could have been a better partner. And also been more present for myself too. These are good things to recognise and work on going forwards.

I have no interest in any possible reconciliation with my XH. However, I do feel it would be good to lay some things to rest at some point. Perhaps even meeting up for coffee might be a healing thing. But that may or not ever happen. I just don't like the scenario of having had an intimate relationship with someone, only for that to become a void, a rift. I don't think that is a healthy situation for anyone and it would be good to heal that.

I guess I'm trying to say - good for you to have processed and initiated and communicated in that way. It sounds like it was a healing conversation for you both.

Every good wish to you Cil xxx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus