That escalated quickly; WW's A RESUMES(hoosjim#13)

[hoosjim]

Do you know if your W is still in constant contact with her BFF?

Since BD on Saturday (and who dropped the bomb, there, me or her? Kinda think mine was the bigger one...) she has been in near constant contact, per the phone and text records. (It helps keeps me grounded and resolute to check) Don't know about today (I just checked after you asked) but, then again, she went into work so she could be and probably is talking to her via her work phone... just like she did talk and for all I know still is talking to OM.

Was kind of funny. Last night, she texted me again about the letter (with yet another apology). So I responded-- "i don't want to talk and i don't want to read the letter. I want limited to no communication with you right now, and Jessica [my IC and also her IC and, previously, our MC] agreed this was a good idea."

She responded: "OK, Jessica told me she was going to encourage you to read it but if you don't want to i will keep it. We will need to talk about Easter, we told the kids we were going to see S19 for brunch and Church. I am so, so sorry. I miss you."

So i got sucked in a bit: "Jessica must've forgotten that i said i wasn't looking for marriage counseling right now..." [and im going to interject here for the thread that it now occurs to me that i may actually have to find a different IC, as much as a like and connect with the current one] "... I already talked to S19 when i saw him on Sunday."

And here, panic must have set in. Immediately: "About what did you talk to S19" (and her grammar is almost never so good... preposition at the beginning of the sentence and everything. Impressive.) This was followed, according to the phone logs, by two immediate texts to bff, one of which was an image which i assume to be a screenshot of my text. Then she texted me "???". Followed by "??" I let her stew for a few more minutes cause i knew what she was thinking, didn't really care, and was in a bit of a nasty mood, TBH. During that gap, she called bff for a 7 minute chat.

After about a 15 minute pause, i text back "Easter. And going down there for brunch and church." and then "Said i wouldn't be going."

Her: "Im sorry. i hate that that there is all of this pain because of me. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. I know i screwed up so, so bad and i am so, so sorry."

Me(Going too far): "Look, you can't un-messy this situation It is what it is. This is what infidelity does. It's not sunshine and puppy dogs and unicorns and happy endings. It's lies and deceit and guilt and pain and broken homes and divorce. That's the reality. It's impossible to shield the kids from that."

Her: "I'm sorry. I'm just dying on the inside that i have hurt you and everyone else." Then: "Divorce? What are you talking about? I don't want that! What do you mean? And what about S19 on Sunday?" [i think maybe our texts crossed in cyberspace]

This was dumb to even engage and it's spiraling so i call her. Her: "Jim?" Me: "Look, i don't want to talk right now, and Jessica agreed its not a good idea and said limit it to texts. Texting doesn't seem like a great idea either cause we're going around in circles so lets just shut it down. It's not going to lead anywhere good. I told S19 I'm not coming on Sunday but that you and S18 were, so if you change that you need to tell him. That's it. At some point soon we're going to have to tell them something more."

Her, crying: "Jim, I'm scared...and I'm..." Me: "Goodbye." (more crying as im hanging up.)

Wanted to relay that because i didn't want to make a separate post and thought it germane. Also it segued well from the "is she contacting bff" question. On that point, FWIW, she did not contact bff at all, either by phone or by text.

Sorry for my weakness, Sensei, please forgive me.

after our final text and phone exchange" Thanks!




Edit - Not sure that I added this edit in the right place - Cadet