I also echo what you and Jim have said. W has a lot of terrible flaws and I can see them more clearly now. She wasn't the supportive spouse that I needed and she didn't have my back.
She's got a lot of work to do on herself, including what I can clearly now see as crippling anxiety resulting in serious conflict avoidance. It took her 3 years to tell her parents something - it was a big thing, but it took her that long to bring herself to do it.
And that was because of the anxiety and conflict avoidance traits. I don't have the years that it would take for her to work on herself and get to a place of confidence and calmness.
That's why I am good with D because I am not waiting around for years. My life is improving and I want to be with someone to have a fun filled life. I know what I want. Can she give me what I want? Maybe, but it might take years and even then I am not sure.
As Jim said, there needs to be some serious commitment on her part, which I am not seeing and I might have to wait around for a few years for even just that. So, I am not going back.
J - glad to see where you're at mentally and emotionally with D. I am also getting there. Getting more comfortable with filing for D.
