I've said this before on your thread and I'll say it again - an in-house separation will kill your mind, body, and soul.
I had an in-house separation that lasted for about 8ish weeks. I thought I could handle it. I even suggested to W that we live in separate bedrooms and make this separation work so that we could keep the marital house. I was super naieve when I suggested that.
I can tell you that those 8 weeks in-house S were absolute mental torture for me. I was unable to get some grounding and it was just so emotionally destabilizing to see her every day and be reminded of the situation. I kept replaying the past over and over again and trying to find how I could make this better and get her back. She was there physically, just within my reach I thought, but in reality she was a million miles away.
I have seen you use the 'everyone's sitch is different' line of argument to basically dismiss someone's perspective because you didn't like it. You don't have to like my perspective either, but I am one of many who have gone through some in-house S and wished we had just separated fully right when BD happened.
I am going to highlight some of the benefits of being physically separated for me:
1. Achieving mental and emotional grounding, and ability to process my emotions in a new neutral environment and space. 2. Able to recalibrate my goals and being processes to achieve them. 3. Able to objectively look at the MR and truly understand where I was unhappy and how it came to be that way, which allowed to identify areas for improvement just so that I could round myself out as a better man 4. Able to truly be in a process of detachment. 5. Come to terms and even looking forward to my life without W in the picture - envisioning happiness and contentment
I used to think that TxHubby was a great example of an in-house S gone well, but Sandi has repeatedly explained how TxHubby's sitch was not an in-house S, and it makes sense now.
My only contribution to your thread would be about this decision. I would highly recommend that you think about fully separating and moving forward with your life. If artista's timeline is any indication, you're looking at years for possible recon and piecing.
Get out and live your life! If she comes back and it's true, then that will be a bridge to cross in the future.
