That escalated quickly; WW's A RESUMES(hoosjim#13)

[SteveLW]

Just popped in to check on the board and saw this thread right away. Hoosjim I am so sorry my man. But you seem like you are in a good place. Don't beat yourself up at all, you made your decisions based on what you knew at the time and your love for your wife.

I had a conversation several weeks ago with my wife, before she started showing signs of letting go of her waywardness and moving back towards committing to the marriage. I told her near the end of it: "I really do love you." This was said in a way as to NOT expect an "I love you too" back. That was not my intent. Her response was: "I know you do. Otherwise you would have kicked me to the curb already."

I am sure some of our SMEs here will say that was a sign that she was still manipulating me. Admitting to using that love to her advantage. And maybe it was. But it also showed that my decisions to change for the better, based on my love for her, had an impact on her. That she could see my actions were saying I loved her, and it wasn't just empty words they way they seemed before.

Hoosjim, I think you still have the hope of R. I really do. I think the changes in you have had an affect on your W. Sure she gave in to the OM's advances (at least that is what I think from what I could piece back together), but As are hard to end until one of the participants is ready to end it. I know I watched my childhood friend go through an awful depression when her AP ended their A. That was 10 years ago, and she just now in the last 2 years finally go completely over him.

I remember a few year ago (3 or 4) her telling me she hated him. I said to her: "Then you are not over him. When you feel nothing for him THAT is when you will know you are over him."

She admitted me to me a few months ago that she now felt nothing for him except maybe a little pity.

Know that I am praying for you guys. I hope that it can all work out for the best.