My New Scenario

[Newly20]

Also, within this time just reflecting on myself and talking to friends about how their relationships are, I don't feel as if I'm solely to blame for the downfall. We had regular outings for dinner, i would catch up for lunch with her at work when my schedule allowed, we vacationed 2x a year. She would also go visit her relatives out of country without me which was fine as I didn't care to go. Never did i give her a hard time on going. I did my share and then some of the house work. I cooked all our meals and was the one to clean up 4/5 times. Financially i made more and i took care of paying the bills and making sure everything was on point, i even took care of paying her cards so the payment would not be missed.

It's funny how men and women view these things so differently. Look at what you wrote above. You do not once mention what most women value most- emotional support. Were you ever THERE for her, emotionally available, emotionally supportive? Or when she came to you with problems did you shut down, or go into Mr. Fixit mode? So you had lunch and dinner with her, "let her" go on trips by herself, did some house work. So what, that is the BARE MINIMUM (not to mention all "beta" stuff that is good to have in the M, but not what attracts a woman to a man). You don't deserve an award for that! I'm not trying to beat you up, the exact same could be said for most of us here. But you've got to wake up to the fact that you did NOT give her what she wanted most, and that is why you are here. Don't try to justify it by saying "oh but I did X, Y and Z" because that doesn't matter. What matters is you didn't do A, B and C.

AnotherStander,
I appreciate your response. Definitely don't take it as a beat up in any way. I know where i failed to be there for my wife on the emotionally level. In essence i had no idea about these type of feelings that a woman craves. After reading DR and the 5LL I definitely have gotten a better grasp of it.

My dilemma is, I'm at a point where my wife will not even say a word to me in our basic interactions with D exchange. How long before she will break this barrier and maybe start talking to me, or should i try and start conversation with her. She does text me in regards to our D and i reply straight to the point and don't try to make additional convo myself.

I did in no way try to justify myself with all that i brought to the table, only brought it out to clearly state my sitch. I know of relationships that have more hardship such as alcoholism,drug abuse, physical abuse and the likes of anything along those lines.