That escalated quickly; WW's A RESUMES(hoosjim#13)

[hoosjim]

Thanks, artista.

Sorry if I came across as completely dismissive of Coconut (I have a way of doing that and so am always trying to tweak my writing style.) I actually totally agree with: "If you take the next 6 months truly living for you, you will be that much closer to moving forward if your MR doesn’t reconcile ". The rest I think is just a difference of perspective and syntax. I think by "Thinking about reconciliation" Coconut prolly means "obsessing about reconciliation" or, at least "Thinking a whole, whole bunch about reconciliation" which is not where I see myself right now. I don't think I need that much a of a mindset change in this area. I acknowledge the possibility. I allow for it. I can do nothing else.

WRT your story, wow. That's a hard one. I think maybe you have related it somewhat before, and so sorry you had to go through all of that. Sounds like it was hard for you as well as everyone else.

Sadly, it is also a long story and, TBH, I think that my story, if it went in that direction, might also end up being a long one. I think that my W has some very different fundamental hang-ups and issues than you, even as your WW profiles look very similar, but how much that would affect the timeline I have no idea. AAR, who knows what the future brings, but I know or at least strongly suspect that I don't have that kind of patience. I love my W, but if someone were to sit down with me now and say "You and your wife can reconcile, and she will be committed and intimate and everything you would want in a MR..l but you have to give it four years", my responses would be 1) "No" and 2) "Oh by the way Oh H*ll no." Even three or even two years. Im 52 for crying out loud. Illness and then depression robbed me of the peak years of my life-- I am eager to get out and live. I don't want to spend the next two, three, or four (maybe not even ONE) years of my life trying to drag up a woman who so badly deceived and betrayed me and our family. Maybe that sounds cold and selfish but... IDK. I am still hurt and sad and angry right now, so maybe I am being overly pessimistic here, but I just cant see me signing up for another such long stretch. This past 14 months was grueling.