If and when I go to the house which, at this point, is looking inevitable for tonight unless I figure something else out, the issue of living arrangements is bound to come up. And it should come up. I have no intention of tucking my tail and running for my own house. So that will have to be addressed, and I am still taking suggestions.
Similarly, when that comes up, the issue of what to tell the kids is starting to come up as well. My conviction, as I have stated before, is to tell them the truth. And I also intend to say that to my wife. They need to be told the truth. This is going to probably cause a major meltdown because it is her major fear and darkest nightmare. So any thoughts on how to handle an approach that would be appreciated as well.
Finally, I do not intend to engage in any marathon relation discussions with her, however, it seems to be everyone's opinion here, that would be perfectly fine, and even the good move to make sure I tell her that I think that she has a problem problems that she needs to work out on her own, and let her compulsive and repeated returns to the OM are evidence of that. Part of me also really wants to tell her that if she is serious about getting herself right that she should reexamine who her closest confidants are, perhaps without specifically naming BFF.. but I am a little weary about doing that because I fear it may have the opposite effect. I don't know. Let me know y'all thoughts.
No, no and no... You can tell her all that without talking to her, and in fact, it would come across loud and clear if you spoke with actions... Your ideas are weak, and reveal just how weak you really are...
I am glad you brought up BFF... you are afraid to make her choose... When my 3-day suicide situation happened, I deliberately stayed away from talking to my GGW BFF... I knew H hated my allegiance to her... I knew he could be tracking my convos and correspondence... I talked with her once during the three days... After that, I pretty much cut her out of my life... H didn't have to make it a requirement because by the time we truly reconciled, GGW BFF had not been in my life for quite a while... if your W were ready to make changes, she would not be confiding in BFF... she knows how you feel about her... That is a no brainier... One more point on this... Even though I began cutting BFF out of my life at this time, even though I made that big positive change, I was still wayward... I still cheated on my husband within a few months...
