I think your H knows that the fiance told you... And I think his behavior the other night is more about that situation... Like you said, he is justifying his cheating on you, on his family... And no amount of validation from you or your kids will be received by him in his current state of mind...
On a side note, how long has it been since he has suggested sex?
Well, the last time sex came up (it happened) was when H came for dinner the Tuesday before my surgery, and he spent the night. 2 days later, I received the confirmation of OW from her fiancé. The day of my surgery when H brought me home, he said we would come up again Monday or Tuesday to spend the night (translation, sex). But he never brought it up again. Earlier this week H asked what day he could come up for dinner (I told him Friday). Yesterday afternoon (Friday) he said he wouldn't be able to spend the night because he had to get up early for some event. I said fine.
So you may be right, he may know that I know. But it's unusual for him not be to blunt and mention it. At this point, the kids are moving forward as if he is never coming back. I have told them they do need to reach out to him, regardless of last night.
Me-44,H-44 S21,S19,S17,D13 M-22,T-29 (off and on prior to M) BD:12-20-17 (H said he had things to work out in his head) H moved out:3-4-18
