New LBW, H maybe in MLC and now with OW - part 2

[meg24]

Knowing my H for almost 30 years now, I don't believe his behavior last night had anything to do with feeling appreciated. He was definitely gaslighting, to justify his own actions.

As far as the cleaning up his mess as "more of the same", yes, you nailed it, that is exactly what it is. Thank you for pointing that out. I'm not really "cleaning up" this time. I have been talking to all the kids a lot latey about their own relationships with him, and hoe they need to talk to him, tell him how they feel.

H is a master manipulator. His actions these days are bringing to light actions and behaviors in the past that I overlooked.

It is definitely a long road ahead. I want my H to be happy and healthy. Unfortunately, I can definitely attest to the information I was given that the sitch would get worse after detaching. I feel that is where we are at. H feels me detachiny, he sees me acting "as if", and the kids as well. And because we are not focused on him not being the center of our universe, it is adding to his anger.

I will add that he has not mentioned one word about me possibly knowing about OW from the fiance. So maybe the fiance didn't tell OW that I know. Doesn't matter. Doesn't change things at all.