Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[betheoa]

Hi Sandy, and all other.
I am still here...but tray gain courage to write.

So i am back to home...it was a week, to not be at home.
All week when i was "separated", my wife wrote me on FB "blame me, threatening me, being angry, ask me to go home...." and so on. On the most of the text i did not answer.
I did not call to her, and answering her call very really.
I left on 04.03. and go to home to see the kids on 10.03. When i sow them, i felt very bed. So i have decide to stay at home.

I understand it is look like slide back...maybe yes, but in reality i was not ready to live separate, considering the financial part.

For this 14 days i am at home, there is not changes. My wife contact OM, pursuing him very hard, if she pull back OM trigger her. It is madness dance.

There is nothing new, the thinks i wrote before, are happening again and again. So i am on way to stop Analise her.
I am taring to be confident, not pursuing at all and be bigness neighbor. Do not show affection and reduce attention. Try to avoid being at home (be at work).
Of course that allow her to FB OM2, but in the past i try to be next to her all the time (avoid her to FB OM)...the result is ...nothing.

So i will stay at home (for now), and will not react to any WW behavior - there is nothing i can do....except to star working on our second flat (we bought 1.5 years ago), it is near to the place we are living now. My WW wont from me to go for another flat (investment for the kids), but in reality it is her way to stuck me in long term commitment to the family (not financial opportunity to leave, or separate).

So i am starting to prepare this flat for me, that is like a Goal. I will told her this when she bring the topic(normally she start talking about together future - like buying a flat for the kids), when i pull away hardly and/or OM2 pull back.
Right after OM2 start pursuing her and/OR i show some interest (just do not cut her right away) to follow her ideas, she is relaxed, and focus her mind out of the family.

So i am going to reread detachment and Sandy`s topics and follows the Sandy rules.

I was in thinking to confront/ask OM2 to leave my WW alone, but i see this like controlling.

What i cant take a way from my WW?
1. Financial support
2. Attention Affection, if at the moment OM2 is not pursuing her.
3. The illusion of great family to relatives and mutual friends.

That is for tonight, i am at work and i am tired.

My focus goals are:
1. Make second flat ready for living (possibility to move there if separation take place).
2. Focus on my kids, much more than before.
3. Perform better at work.
Detach as much as possible.
4. Decrease/avoid snooping.