Just opened my IPad and saw all this movement on your thread. I actually wrote out a lengthy post yesterday....and then deleted it, b/c I realized I had mostly vented and speculated.....rather than offer something productive. I, too, felt like Don H said it much better. My concern was toward her lack/poor boundaries and the after work drinks with the doc. I was very suspicious about the other night, and work GF acting as a cover.....or lookout. I honestly was not thinking about her contacting OM.
Why do you feel the same OM is in the picture? Are you basing it on her moods and actions?
Did she have a session with the IC, or just ask about the app?
Has she continued to snuggle with you in bed, or has she pulled back?
For your own peace of mind, getting Intell would probably be smart.......so you would not always have that corner of doubt. Of course, it may not give you a timeframe, but you would know if she's seeing the OM again.
How should you interact with her until you get confirmation? If you are a good actor, don't change what you've been doing. Don't say anymore about staying for wine after work. Don't ask her when she's coming home, etc. Give that rope plenty of slack. If she's guilty, she'll hang herself......or get serious about IC, instead of just agreeing to keep you off her case. Don't question her about her whereabouts, times, etc. If stays late at work, don't even start playing the texting game with work GF or your W. IMHO, they are acting juvenile and trying to make you appear like the jealous H. Son't engage in a relationship talk........trying to catch her in a lie. Consider increasing your GAL. You can't get obsessed about "watching" her, deciding if she is or isn't in contact with OM.
She can read you very well, so you may not be able to cover your feelings until you get satisfactory Intell. I don't think you should wait too long, b/c I don't see it being a healthy way to exist.
If she is contacting OM, I think it's about time for another weekend stay with BFF.
In the meantime, I encourage you to place an urgent call to the IC. Talk to her about your strong suspicions. If nothing else, it should help you vent some emotional steam, and your information could be a heads-up for the IC/MC. And, don't stop the sessions..........not without proof she's seeing OM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
