WW's A ended, Now piecing(?) but slow, thread #12

[hoosjim]

I did want to ask whether or not you really need proof, if you "know",

No, I need to be certain. [sigh] I've invested too much of myself, too much time and love and everything to not be certain.

Also, is saying anything to her going to get you closer to your goal, or would action be more effective than talk?

If/when it comes to it, don't think I will need to say much more than "soyonara". But I will say something... No MR talks, but we are supposedly in a place now where we are talking and moving forward. She'll need to know I know.

Here's the tricky part, though... How do I behave towards her until then? She has done nothing overtly dishonest or disrespectful. The wine hour with her coworkers went a little long BUT she did just enough (calling periodically, etc) to NOT be truly disrespectful, and I had not forbidden her to go to these things, just told her I didn't approve of what doctor was doing but that I needed to trust her and know she knew what the boundaries were (and the one I gave her was no one-on-one, which she did not violate).

She has, however, been distant emotionally the past couple of days, and she has been more defensive when we have had the periodic MR talks that MC has prescribed. I also suspect that she may have been trying to provoke me with the after work thing.

Today when we were talking by phone on her ride in, she was very down-sounding (as opposed to the very spunky up-sounding she had been Wednesday night when I am pretty sure she talked to OM and perhaps even saw him) and talked about not sleeping well and I jokingly asked her if she had a guilty conscious and she said "less guilty... I keep thinking of the saying 'no rest for the wicked' and im about as wicked as they get" (she didn't sound like she was joking.).

Pretty sure she's gotten herself back into this, but I need to 1) be certain before I pull the plug and 2) figure out how to interact with her until I know for sure one way or the other-- I have been VERY warm and engaging and loving-- and open with the touching. If I all of a sudden back off on that she's going to know something's wrong or that I suspect. I suspect strongly enough that we don't need to talk about it. If I find out I was wrong we'll talk about appearances, etc., but Im pretty sure Im not wrong. And if im not wrong, she'll slip up.