Hey man! I am a bit unclear on how your division of time is with the kids on the weekend. Do you share a few hours on both Saturdays and Sundays?
Anyways, not super relevant to what I want to say, but just curious to see how you've done the split.
What I have noticed is that as soon as things don't go their way, the vengeance and anger comes right out. I've seen that happen with my W, and I have seriously limited my contact with her.
What I would suggest is that you become more proactive in your communications about your plans with the kids. Don't wait for her to tell you what she wants to do. She should've told you her plans, and you should've told her your plans. It can be he should do that, she should do that. Don't play that game.
If you know what you're doing, just let her know in advance and as clearly as possible so that there can be no confusion later. If she doesn't like your plan, then you can decide to negotiate or take the next steps.
All I am saying is that be proactive with kid communications. That's the only thing that I do to break NC if my plans are going to conflict with her time or if there is ambiguity about what's happening.
I had a recent scene like this where I thought I had clearly stated what was happening with the division of time with the kids, and she interpreted that differently. Now, I thought it was absolutely clear, but she decided to read it differently. So, instead of arguing with her about it, I just made a mental note to myself about making it so clear that it could not be disputed.
For e.g. - I will keep the kids from x date (school afternoon pick up) till x date (drop them off in the morning), and you will keep them from x date (afternoon pick up) till x date (drop them off in the morning).
Just be ahead of her and if she rages, that's her problem.
