Limerence and My Situation 6

[JRuss]

I guess I don't understand why you think she'd still be in limerance and/or "addicted" to the affair? It's been over a year since you separated, right? That merely chemical stuff will have dissipated quite some time ago.

Sometimes, people decide they don't want to be married any longer, and that's really just that. Your penultimate paragraph shows me you know this. Life is going by. Remember that we only get one of them!

Also, regardless of where you are (or aren't) in terms of dropping the rope, I think you need a written, signed parenting plan each of you can consult that determines who gets the kids when, especially for major holidays like Easter, Christmas, etc. Negotiating this sort of thing the weekend before a major holiday is going to result in hurt feelings and, with your dynamics, a steamrolled Parkema more often than not. When this steamrolling ceases to happen, you'll know you've turned a real, important corner (one which has to be turned if you're ever going to be attractive to her or anyone else).