rarely do we see MLCer leaving to create better more productive and happy lives Usually, they loose everything and the Relationships rarely stick more than a few years-
This is why my situation feels different. He left and has a more successful career than he's ever had now. He seems to be working all the time and so it looks like maybe he's using work as a distraction and as a result, he's been promoted several times already and he's only been there for 22 months.
That's his biggest issue - he wants to be seen as important and successful and now he's getting that. So it's working out for him.
From what I've seen, it seems like if they are going to face themselves, and that's a big if, they won't even be close to ready to do so until they start to experience loss of some kind - loss of job, loss of friends and family, trouble with the law, etc. H doesn't seem to be in any danger of losing anything.
OW went to high school with him. All of his friends know her and none of them know this started as an affair so they are all very supportive and happy for them. His job is going very well. He stopped paying all his debt but it's been a year and a half and he's got a couple of collections accounts (who now can't find him since he changed his phone number) for small balances (not enough to take him to court over) but his largest debts (one is a $35,000 balance) haven't even gone to collections. I can't figure it out - I think if I walked away from that kind of debt, I'd be hounded by phone calls and letters and taken to court. But he just walked away from it and it looks like he's just going to be able to wait it out and after a few years when the statute of limitations runs out it'll just be wiped out.
Meanwhile I'm barely able to work and once I'm able, finding a new job is going to be difficult. In hindsight, I should have divorced him right away, because now I can't even contact him and I'm married to a ghost.
