Limerence and My Situation 6

[Parkema]

Hello All,

It never ceases to amaze me how these wayward people act!

Last night (Thursday) my WW came around and dropped off S8 after picking him up from a play date, the interaction for the past 6+ months has been very civil and I suppose friendly. Whilst waiting on S10 to greet her she mentioned the upcoming Easter holidays, the Saturday and Sunday are my days on our rota and I mentioned that I was wanting to have dinner with them on the Sunday.

Instantly the mood changed! The stranger/alien had returned with a vengeance, I have been slowly working on seeing her less and less especially over the weekends with me trying to instigate a “this is your weekend to have them and this is mine” not I have them for a few hours then WW comes to pick them up for a few hours. Anyway I said I was planning on having them on the Sunday but was told that she and her family were expecting them for dinner – I stood my ground.

A cold chill fell over the house and communication totally stopped between WW and I, WW went and talked to S10 for a few minutes then left clearly upset.

Approximately 2 hours later as expected I get a text from WW stating “What time are you letting me see my boys on Easter Sunday then?” “In the past when it’s been my nights I have brought them round to you for a few hours as you have them to me, do not see what has changed?”
She also mentioned again that not only were the boys grandparents expecting them but also their 2-year old cousin who they adore! It would have been just my boys and I so after a little while thinking about the hurt it would cause not to WW as I’m little interested in that but to the rest of the boys extended family and them I relented and said I would arrange something another time with them and let me know what time she was to pick them up. < Still waiting on a response…

I’m a classic MNG which I’m ruthlessly trying to work on BUT find it really difficult to stand my ground when other people are involved, if she were to say “me and AP/LO are having Easter Sunday lunch with my boys and play happy families” < this would have had a totally different outcome.

What this has pointed out to me is where WW still is in her journey (physical S over a year 13th Feb 2017) she is very much still engrossed in her addiction. I don’t know what the board thinks but I feel slowly I’m chipping away at MNG, and getting to a point where I NEED to have as little contact as I can with her and just let it be. Also just under the surface nothing has changed within her and she’s still and quite probably will be the same WW she was at BD well over a year ago.

Patience is key but we have a saying in the UK “flogging a dead horse” I’ll continue to stand but am getting to the point where I see life go by and me standing still.

Thanks for reading my drivel.

Take Care.

M.