Your thread really tugs at my heart strings. I see you have read my threads, so you know why. I am not here to throw all kinds of advice at you. I just wanted to offer you my empathy and support. This is so incredibly tough, and especially with children (and a child with additional needs). ... I can promise you one thing tho, and that is that things will not be this way forever. This might be the worst part. And maybe all you can do is wake up each day, get ready for the day, and face it as best you can. Forgive yourself for your imperfections, love those kids hard, and then you wake up and you try again. Every morning you wake up again, then rinse & repeat. For me, I would read Sandi's Rules every day and try and follow them. I blew it at least 2-3 times a day :-) Then I would wake up and try again.
What else can we do for you? What can I say? I mean, I could say a LOT OF THINGS about your H, but I am not sure that would help you too much right now. Just do know, that he has to live with himself and his choices and tell himself (convince himself) that what he is doing is okay. He knows it's not. When he looks at you and your gracious self, he has to justify what he's doing. I actually pity him.
He has created his own demons and on some level he knows it. I applaud you for not even mentioning it. You are a strong woman.
We are here for you. I am here for you. And to be honest, you are so much stronger than I ever was! And I am turning out okay.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
