The one struggle I have with what you spoke about is the kids activities. This weekend for instance is Maine Maple Sunday. I plan to take the girls to a local farm with sugar shack to enjoy the homemade maple syrup products. I typically would invite the W so the girls would not pick up on anything and ask questions. You think it's best if I just go with out her? Same for Saturday. Both D5 and D7 got great report cards so I told them I'd take them out for dinner. I figured it would be best if she was part of that meal but maybe that is the NGS in me?
Kids activities are a struggle when the H starts to implement actions similar to the renter/boarder scenario. Some activities may be unavoidable, while still living under the same roof. For instance, if the kids had a birthday and W invited family.......you would not leave and not share in their birthday party.
There are some times you can make activities a "DD Day" (Daddy & Daughters Day). I think you have to use your best judgment here. If you decide you don't want her along, then tell her privately, and in advance. Don't wait till the day of the activity. You know her temperament best, and you don't want her telling the girls that Daddy won't let her go. So, some things are a tough call. Some times she won't care, b/c it frees her to do her wayward thing. Unfortunately, I can have a sharp tongue and think of all type of sarcastic responses to a WW wanting to ditch her family/marriage for OM......but expects to join in the fun times. .
Quote:
I said well nothing seems to be changing so over the next month we will just be further apart
Keep me straight here. Why the timeframe of a month. Were you referring to her moving out in a month? How did she respond when you made that statement?
Also, let me back up to another post, where you referred to no more saying good morning or good bye. If an elderly lady was renting a room from you, I think you would speak if/when seeing her first thing in the morning. And if she was in the room where you exit when leaving for work, you'd say good-bye. Same thing when you came home after work. However, the main point here is that you don't go out of your way. You don't chase her down or go looking for her whenever you are ready to depart or when you return.....or saying good night. That's just my view point. Keep it short and polite.
My grandparents took in a boarder once. He was a kind, elderly man, and we all thought a lot of him. He would join the family at mealtime and we included him in our small talk. In the evenings, we would gather in the family room, and he would join us for a short period, before retiring to his room. Of course, the boarder and my grandmother did not share any children......... Otherwise, I draw the boarder scenario from that personal experience. In fact, we even lived there with them for a couple of months.
If a schedule, transportation, or whatever for the kids needs to be discussed.......it should be addressed at home and in advance. That should cut down on texting back & forth. If she will conduct herself appropriately at the dinner table, it could be discussed then.....as the kids are likely to bring it up. But if she is going to get ugly and verbally cut you down......then save it until you can talk to her privately. Showing disrespect to either parent in front of the kids is bad.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
. 
Otherwise, I draw the boarder scenario from that personal experience. In fact, we even lived there with them for a couple of months. 