She would never say she was sorry. If we got into a fight, she’d go cold and give me the silent treatment until I broke the ice. Somehow, the only way to do that was to say I was sorry...no matter who did what to whom. And often times the fights were over little things and I felt like I never knew what we were really fighting about.
Gord, I agree and was in the same boat with regards to my w. Is this something that they experienced and learned from their mothers? Who know...but it is not something that is normal. As a fixer we would always try to fix what was wrong even if we didn't cause it or break it. That isn't healthy.
She withheld sex from me. This built up resentment on both sides. Neither was happy.
Again, this is not something that should be tolerated, but in an unhealthy M I'm sure it happens more than we know.
She was a spender and I was a saver. If I made $50k, she wanted more. If I made $100k, she wanted more. If I made $200k, she wanted more. No matter how much I made, it was never enough. She felt I was stingy and I felt like she was reckless.
Most people that are depressed and or having a feeling of a void trying to be filled are like this. Mine was no exception. She did make good money, but we had stacks from Amazon on the porch daily and there were always new things in the closet. Not setting boundaries myself, it definitely got out of hand.
She is full of gratitude towards friends and strangers. But to me at home? There was no gratitude. She resented being a SAHM and giving up her career and being financially dependent on me. She felt trapped and we both felt we took each other for granted.
Mine too praised everyone but me. It took her leaving to realize that I never got that anyway. It is definitely my #2 love language (praise and affirmation) just behind the physical touch. The problem I see is that most marriages lack the proper communication to tell their spouse what they need out of the M.
It's funny that God puts us in situations that we need to be in to open our eyes to what he wants to teach us. You are still learning so much it is great see and learn from all of our relationships. Stay strong my friend.
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
