I am new here so please take anything I say with a huge grain of salt!
i just read your post above where he reached out with the text messages. You are wondering if you messed up by saying that you need to talk.
That sounds like something I would do! I think I do it because I have so many repressed needs and every time he reaches out a little, I want to solve things right away. I just need this craziness to be over.
Reading your posts made me wonder if your husband (and maybe mine) is ashamed of his behaviour. Is it possible that he is afraid to talk to you because he doesn’t have the strength to admit he is behaving badly? Needing to talk is perfectly understandable and logical on your part. Maybe the reason he can’t is because he can’t own what he did because he is ashamed.
