Why is she angry? well, the short of it is that she thinks that I Am the cause of all her unhappiness and that I held her back and I didn't care etc etc. Sorry, I don't mean to diminish legitimate parts of her anger, but she thinks it's all my fault. I obviously don't agree with that.
The in-person interaction isn't serious or to discuss anything. I see her at kids extra-curricular stuff on the weekends. I choose to be there for my kids and so I have to interact with her, even if it's just basic hi and hello. She's had a hard time doing even that the last few times - but this was specifically related to me standing my ground and not rolling over to her demands. I just reiterated what we had agreed upon and she twisted it around by saying that she interpreted it differently. But, she didn't get her way and so she was pissed - which just added to the giant flame ball of anger that she's already carrying around.
I do most things written, but basic civil and cordial behaviour when I see her in-person. She couldn't manage that the last few times and so she needs to handle her emotions better in front of the kids.
