Ginger, my husband really was that nice previously when he came fresh from his country where his family had raised him with values and his life had been simple. When he came here he saw how aggressive Americans are, even myself although I may not sound like it here. He used to apologize for everything, even when it was my fault, and bring flowers and cards and gifts. Gradually, when he had trouble getting a residency, and then in residency where he performed poorly and was treated terribly and abusively he began to act out and change. I was mad at him for not caring about our daughter every day when he came home, and at work he wasn't respected. I distinctly remember when he started to change. He would come home and stare at the wall and say "I don't like my life. I don't like my work. I don't like being married." Then everything deteriorated from there. My husband withdrew and I was struggling too much caring for our daughter and working multiple consulting jobs to reach out to him. It's a long story. None of us get to where we are in one step I'm sure. There are so many things that lead up to a spouse leaving or cheating.
25yrsmlc, it's just so appalling that your husband could be like that. Is he American? I used to try to rationalize things by saying my husband is from a different culture, survived war, etc.. but it seems anyone can become this way and do this to their spouse. How have you moved on? Did you start to date anyone else? Are you financially stable now?
