New LBS, not sure if he's having LMC

[meg24]

I totally hear you 25. I am really working on not trying to figure out what is in H's head. He seems to be an almost completely different man than the one I married. Almost. He is still very self-indulgent, he has always been that way. I just looked past it most of the time.

Thankfully I have been handling all the finances for years. I pay all the bills. The only difference now is that he puts his paycheck in his own bank account (his company doesn't use direct deposit, so he just started picking it up at the office rather than have it mailed home). He does give me money weekly, but I am working on a contingency plan in case he decides he doesn't want to anymore.

I'm not sure what stage I'm in at this point. I'm going to ride this whole thing out, but if H does decide to come back, right now I don't know if I want him home. I did things for him during our marriage that I normally wouldn't (nothing illegal). Things I had no desire to do, but did them because I wanted him to be satisfied. He has mentioned since BD that he knows I didn't want to, but he still wants to do them. That just might be a deal breaker for me. I won't compromise myself any longer. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there I guess.