I wish I had some incredible words of wisdom, but I think I am where you are at right now. I feel the loss of the things that were taken away from me by marrying the man I married. Yes, I am better off without him, but I wish to God it didn't have to be between having a crappy H or no H at all.
All my R's start off great too, the guy is really into me, and they can still stay they are still into me, but they can't handle the sacrifices they realize they would have to make when sh!t gets real.
In the same breath, and ready for this, one big reason I have a hard time with this current guy is because he cannot understand what my life is like. I actually feel an ounce of resentment that the man actually has pretty much no responsibilities (his mom still does his laundry) except to work, and he doesn't even do that right now. Because he doesn't know what it's like to have to be fully responsible for anything other than himself, I really don't think it could work. Here I am not wanting to be with a guy because he doesn't have kids, when there are guys who wouldn't want to be with me because I do have a kid.
Enough about me. But I do agree, a step in moving past this is giving up on the life we wanted. Taking the life we were handed and making it the best we can. I kind of figure when my D10 is 18, it's my time. It's my time to travel, make my career decisions on me, and really embrace life. ANd I may even find a partner who wants to do that with me.
I empathize with your resentment, I really do. I have it too.
