I'm glad you accident was minor and congratulations on the raise! I'm sorry you're still dealing with his anger and ridiculous behavior. What you write reminds me so much of my xw when she was monstering. The projection in their anger is so insane. Hopefully when things move along his anger will start to burn out. After my d was finalized I noticed xw shifted a lot of her anger elsewhere.
The only thing he did talking about you going to counseling in court was to make himself look bad. In my experience all the attorneys, etc. viewed therapy as a good thing and encouraged it. I think you handled it perfect.