when picking up the kids last night W asked if we could get together next Friday, i asker her what for and she said to catch up? I'm preparing for the worse...i agreed to meet with her, how do i go go about this meeting? This will potentially be the first sit down conversation that we've had in months
You listen and you gather information. If she presses you for your response or an answer, you tell her that you need time to process all this. That you will get back to her, etc.
But make no commitment and do NOT ask her to come home.
For now, you let her go b/c if you she were to return before any changes in her happen, you'll be here again within a year.
Get OUT of her head b/c it's not a comprehensible place to be. There are no "good answers" to this.
Fill your head with new things, and making your kids FIRST>
Kids need at least one sane parent and that parent is YOU. Keep their lives as much the same as you can. Same activities and same friends over playing etc.
Just so you know, most men would love to be in your place keeping the kids and not having to share them with her much or paying child support and she's not demanding custody (yet) or openly inviting a new man into her life to be a step dad.
That is when it gets truly sucktacular. But read the DR book and consider the possibility that she may not snap out of this.
OR not till too much damage has been done.
Do you absolute BEST not to bad mouth her to your kids. It will be VERY hard, but you must do this and they will ALWAYS remember you more fondly for not making them feel worse.
They will be in enough pain and turmoil and feel rejected enough by their mom as it is.
Do not worry that they will prefer her to you, even though they will miss her badly. Cross that bridge when you get to it.
Hang in there. Get A Life. It matters. Crowding out obsessive thoughts and pain about her with new positives activities and HOPE will increase your self confidence and peace.
And attractiveness. Become James Bond detached and move forward as if you KNOW you all will be "Just fine, thanks"
b/c you will be.
And because she won't come home in any healthier way if it's from shame,
the way she might if she realizes the prizes she's losing by leaving.
Be a man only a fool would leave. (And prepare for your w to be a fool).
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
