Arghh, you know the way he says that our relationship is completely broken. I cannot stand the way he says that. It is so cynical, he smiles. He sounds as if he speaks about a broken plate ... not so important. No regret. As if he want to hurt me by saying this. I think if he was detached he would be more human in dealing the situation. The situation is hopeless also for him. He would have to move out. He would have to build a new life. He would have to disappoint the children. He would have to do without half of the time with the children. He would have to do things completely contrary to his convictions and values. He is not pulled out of our marriage by somebody else. He feels pushed out because of our conflicts. Now he is so cynical. I sometimes think that this must be a point where we could re-connect. Separation and divorce will hurt both of us. For him it is the better of two very bad options, staying and leaving. My hope is based on that he might think that leaving is even worse than staying. But if I agree too simply and too fast in separate holidays, he will only feel that separation might work somehow. It is such a dilemma.
